The Ugly American

I first remember hearing this phrase when I was in my teens, back in the 1970s. Originally it was the title of a novel published in 1958 and a film released in 1963, starring Marlon Brando. According to Wiki, The Ugly American “depicts the failures of the US diplomatic corps, whose insensitivity to local language, culture and customs and refusal to integrate was in marked contrast to the polished abilities of East bloc diplomacy and led to Communist diplomatic success overseas.”

The term is apropos in today’s social and political contexts.

When I see the hatred and vitriol spewed from the likes of Donald Trump, Ted Cruz, Chris Christie, Marco Rubio, and Carly Fiorini, my stomach turns. Worse is the rabid applause and cheers from their supporters. Trump’s supporters attacked a Black Lives Matter protester at an Alabama campaign stop.

But it doesn’t stop there.  Hatred and fear ooze like toxic waste over the landscape of our country. It is overwhelming but it is also deadly and violent.

My husband Ronald and I went to see the movie Trumbo. For those who don’t know who Dalton Trumbo was, he was one of the most successful screenwriters in Hollywood, that is, until the House Un-American Activities Committee charged him with being a Communist.

It was a dark time in our history. The Cold War was raging, and America became paranoid. That meant people who did not share the very narrow definition of patriotism were subjected to investigation and possible prison sentences. Trumbo was one of many who served a sentence. Many of the accused weren’t Hollywood royalty but regular folk like teachers and firefighters. Some lost their careers, their homes, their families, and even their lives.

The House Un-American Activities Committee conducted these investigations from 1938 – 1975. Neighbors turned in neighbors, friends turned in friends, and many people believed that doing so protected the freedoms we so often take for granted in this country.

But the opposite occurred, because our First Amendment Right that guarantees freedom of speech and freedom of religion was under attack.

Trumbo said, “Democracy means that people can say what they want to. All the people. It means that they can vote as they wish. All the people. It means that they can worship God in any way they feel right, and that includes Christians and Jews and voodoo doctors as well.”

Today we are dangerously close to repeating history. Some GOP candidates have called for the shutting down of Mosques and even internment of all Muslims. Today Donald Trump announced his new proposal that would prevent ALL Muslims from entering this country, even American citizens who travel outside the country.

One of his supporters, standing in line to watch Trump speak in Mount Pleasant, NC, said of Muslim Americans, ”Ship them all out.”

Historically, we have done this before.  We interred Japanese Americans during WWII, some of whom had been Americans for generations. Jim Crow systematically segregated and contained black Americans through socio-economic oppression and meted out violent and deadly retribution on those who did not comply. The Trail of Tears, the forced migration of the Cherokee, Muscogee, Seminole, Chickasaw, and Choctaw nations from their ancestral lands in the Southeast to Oklahoma, led to thousands of Native Americans perishing during the arduous journey.

It’s important to remember that every new wave of immigration in our country caused paranoia and fear. Jewish, Italian, and Irish immigrants were all considered dangerous to “the American way of life.”

What is the “American way of life” if it does not include the diversity of our citizens and a mainstream culture that is the melange of multicultural and sub-cultural contributions?

We are not a white country. We are not a Christian country. We are a country that is predominately of Euro-ethnic heritage, the majority of which are Christian, but that does not represent all of us.

Whenever a whole group of individuals is demonized we are hurting our country and our citizens. In this case, because many people refuse to be inclusive and, instead, feed their own paranoia and fear, we are letting extreme Islamic terrorists win. They count on irrational responses, and there are many Americans who are more than willing to comply.

In addition such hatred, fear, and paranoia feed the virulent hate of a growing group of radicalized white citizens who perpetrate their own terrorist acts against other Americans, such as the murder of nine black worshippers at the Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in Charleston and the murder of three and injury of nine at the Planned Parenthood in Colorado Springs. America is amnesic on these terrorist acts because the San Bernardino terrorist act better fits a narrative that includes arming more citizens rather than passing common sense gun control and blaming one group of people for terror in our country.

The ugly Americans: people applauding the murders of unarmed black men; turning their backs on Syrian refugees who are fleeing unimaginable circumstances; shouting their hatred of fellow Americans who choose to worship or not worship in ways that are not congruent with fundamental Christianity.

What’s worse is the hatred directed toward President Obama at this time when we should be standing united behind him. How dare Donald Trump, or any of the other candidates, think he can out strategize the President when he doesn’t have access to the information the President has nor the large number of experts advising him.

I can’t see how that will help us stay safe, especially when we don’t share the same definition of what it means to be safe. There is a sector of America who believes safety lies in removing everyone who doesn’t fit the narrow and untrue definition of American – white and Christian, in whatever manner it takes to get rid of them.

How can we discover who the radicals are when we are busy damning whole groups of people, most of whom are innocent?

President Obama said, “When we travel down that road [of discrimination] we lose.”

Albert Einstein once said,  “Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results.” We are dangerously close to repeating history and the outcome won’t be different.

The Ugly American 

No More

I am angry. I’ve been fighting for equality, fairness, and justice for my entire adult life, and these last six years have been some of the most difficult. Millions of others must share my anger, frustration, and disappointment.

But there are millions of others who think racism or sexism or gender rights don’t have anything to do with them. And there are others who wage a war of hatred and violence and terrorism, often based on their religious or white supremacist beliefs, which they claim others are violating or trying to hamper.

It is the intersection of all of those perspectives that is causing us fits. Worse than that, it is endangering certain people in our society, impacting their social and economic standing in our country, and killing them.

The Charleston massacre, executed by a cowardly racist, is just the latest in a long list of violence perpetrated in our country. Lots of pundits want to call the terrorist a lone wolf who suffers some sort if mental illness. Others went straight to calling it an attack on religious freedom – really, the irony is killing me and only makes me angrier.

The truth is we caused this. We caused it through our complacency, our denial, and our refusal as a nation to recognize that inequality exists because it is engineered into our societal, institutional, and systemic structures. We live in a racist country. The majority of Americans, white people, are racist because they directly benefit socially and economically. If we don’t have this conversation, in an honest and open way, this will go on and on.

Worse are the states that live in hypocrisy.  Of course, many have started to remove the stars and bars from their capitols and from their license plates. It is a first step, but a shallow one if we do not acknowledge that much more must be done.

Even the GOP is changing. At first Lindsey Graham said in defense of the Confederate flag, “It is a part of who we are.” A day later, he stood next to Nikki Haley as she announced there would be discussion to have it removed.

But these states still believe in segregation and a system of haves and have-nots. We know brown citizens are considered less than white citizens. LGBT citizens are less than heterosexual citizens. Women are less than men. Other voting records, laws, and the denial of safety nets like Medicaid expansion and unemployment insurance are indicators of inequality.

The Confederate flag gives rise to people like the racist terrorist Roof because the state supports and embraces a racist, violent history that includes attacks on historic black churches. Read about the history of the Mother Emanuel AMEChurch, where Roof gunned down nine worshipers during a prayer fellowship. They welcomed him when he wandered into the church.  

But there are other systemic beliefs that also feed the extremists. Politicians and the media like Fox News use racial bias to promote their agenda.

We are a hypocritical country. Our greatest ideal is that we are all created equal. Yet what goes on in this country is not even close to the ideal. We live in a divided country, but not divided the way the conservatives would have us believe. The system divides us. It was created and sustained purposely to keep white men in power. The powerful prey on the ignorance of the uneducated to keep racism going. There is nothing like dividing the country and then having one group, members of the ruling majority, claim the others cause all the ills.

And what do people do when they are angry and feel justified in their anger when they watch Fox News and listen to their clergy who buy into inequality? They strike back. No Dylann Roof was not a lone wolf. He is the monster South Carolina created and there are more like him.

Is racism still a problem in America? Yes, but it was never a problem for white people who choose to ignore it, downplay it, deny it, or blame the victims. It’s easier that way.

As racism is being talked about, once again, many white people show what Robin DiAngelo termed “white fragility.” She describes it this way:

For white people, their identities rest on the idea of racism as about good or bad people, about moral or immoral singular acts, and if we’re good, moral people we can’t be racist – we don’t engage in those acts. This is one of the most effective adaptations of racism over time—that we can think of racism as only something that individuals either are or are not “doing.”

In large part, white fragility—the defensiveness, the fear of conflict—is rooted in this good/bad binary. If you call someone out, they think to themselves, “What you just said was that I am a bad person, and that is intolerable to me.” It’s a deep challenge to the core of our identity as good, moral people.

Many white people cannot have a conversation about race without getting defensive or shutting down. They will claim, “I’m a good person. I’m a Christian. I am not racist, but…” and they let loose with a tirade about how black people have it so nice and it is all their fault that they are in the situation they find themselves in, whether that is in poverty or in prison or being stopped by police or in low paying jobs with no benefits or in inadequate housing with old paint that contains lead or in schools that are not at the standard of many predominately white, suburban schools.

There are white people in the same situations, but they are invisible, mostly in rural areas. The face of poverty, prison, inner cities, and low paid jobs is a black face.  That face becomes the only face of black people, despite a large and thriving black middle class. This disconnect causes many white people who are in the same situations of poverty or low paid jobs to change their personal narrative and to believe that while they are in their circumstances for valid reasons, blacks are not.

And they vote conservatively because of racial bias, hurting themselves while being punitive to people who they believe are not deserving of help.

Other white people believe they are not racist, but they don’t want to have any kind of conversation where they have to spend most of the time listening instead of stating what they believe. They refuse to see there is another experience out there that does not fit in their narrative of self-defined success and heightened status. Such narratives make them uncomfortable and feeling vulnerable to losing what they feel they have single-handedly achieved without the assistance of white privilege.

For new readers, I am white and my husband is black. We are repeatedly told such things as, “why does everything always happen to you” or “what did you do to cause that?” Or we’ve been told that our experiences are not true, can’t be true, that they could never happen.

The answer to all those offensive accusations, because that is what they truly are, is that millions of other people of color have similar or worse experiences. In many ways, we have been more fortunate than the majority of interracial couples and people of color, but that doesn’t diminish or erase the incredible opposition we’ve experienced in our lifetime together and for Ronald as an individual.

Until we can have an honest conversation and make substantial systemic changes to our infrastructure, nothing will change. Taking down the stars and bars won’t make the changes we need to happen.

It will make people feel good, and, unfortunately, lead many to believe their work is done.

I am encouraged that SCOTUS ruled in favor of the subsidies for the Affordable Care Act, the Fair Housing Act, and same sex marriage. Those decisions will continue the journey to a level playing field for all races and genders in our country.

However, we have a lot of work yet to do. I won't strike back in anger, but I will continue to work for change. Stand united and shout “no more” to keep the shift going in the right direction. One or two or three successes cannot undo centuries of racism and inequality.

Marilyn Monroe, President Obama, Me, and the New Violent America

I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.

~ Marilyn Monroe

My mind spins, twists and flits. Sometimes I can’t focus on a single image or idea. So I just close my eyes and let my mind loose. I am at my best when I relax into the process.

Life is like that, too, and this past week was chockfull: Transitions in the lives of our daughters; worries about elderly parents; and friends visiting from out of town. On top of all that, I was glued to the television watching the Olympics, staying up each night until midnight and yawning my way through each workday – the experts say productivity dipped markedly in the workplace during the week as more workers than I were enamored by the games. I celebrated the American teams’ diversity. Gabby Douglas made me so proud, as did all the athletes. I felt joy and sorrow for every person who participated, no matter what country they represented.

 This weekend was President Obama’s fifty-first birthday and the fiftieth anniversary of Marilyn Monroe’s death. I was going to write about Miss Monroe in this post. Then another shooting occurred on Sunday at a Sikh Temple in Oak Creek, Wisconsin. The Sikhs, a pacifist religious order, have faced constant discrimination here in America since 9/11. Because their religion requires the men to wear turbans and not shave facial hair, some Americans perceive them as terrorists. It’s as true as the bandied about lies that President Obama is neither an American nor Christian. But the truth has little sway when haters want to justify their hatred and the actions that hatred inspires.

Seven people, including the gunman, were killed at the temple, and three are critically injured, including a police officer. The FBI has deemed the shooting domestic terrorism. The gunman has been identified as Wade Michael Page, a forty-year-old army veteran who was less than honorably discharged and who had tattoos that suggested ties to a white supremacist skinhead group.

I’ve been talking about gun control since, well, since I became an adult. But the Aurora tragedy brought it to light again. I thought these occurrences would remain rare, but already, here is another one. Is one’s right to bear arms a more important personal freedom than the right to live our lives and engage in the mundanity of every day life in relative safety, without threat of gunfire raining over our heads?

Are we going to make ourselves feel better by calling Wade Michael Page crazy? Will we feel better when we buy more guns? Will this shooting, that was placed on page 10 of my local paper,  be forgotten because the victims were Sikhs, and there is a pervasive hatred among some Americans for anybody who is non-Christian and non-white? Will that hatred continue to fuel the violence that is fast becoming normalized in our society?

As fast as I can write this, arson at an Islamic mosque and community center in Joplin, Missouri, the second time in a year, is in the headlines. Domestic terrorism is here to stay in America, unless we change.

An article in last week’s local newspaper described a new video created by the city of Houston to teach people what to do during a shooting. The six-minute video recommends a “run, hide, fight” response. Danny Davis, director of a homeland security graduate program at Texas A&M University said the video was useful. “You’re not going to turn a civilian into a commando with a short video, but at the same time you can at least put in the back of their mind the possible options,” he said.

He thought the video lacked information about using a weapon and called it a “glaring shortcoming.” He suggested someone could have stopped the Aurora shooting had any of the moviegoers carried a weapon. I disagree. I wrote about that in my last post Playing with Weapons.

Who are we afraid of?

I’m afraid of the people who feel they need to arm up. I’m afraid of Americans who believe that America is only for white people. I’m afraid of the people whose hatred runs so deeply that they lie, blame God, incite and perpetrate violence against others, and feel self-righteous as they spread their hatred against President Obama, gays, women, people of color, immigrants, non-Christians, etc.

I have to think, or at least I want to think, the people spreading these lies, feeding these fears, and responding with violence, are a minority, but their message is louder and more urgent than the messages of tolerance and unity.

Tell the truth. You are afraid of change. You are afraid of people who are different than you. You are afraid of becoming irrelevant. Let’s work together to help you understand and allay your fears and to make this world safe for you and all the rest of us. Lying is not the answer. Going backward is not the answer.  Violence is not the answer. Arson is not the answer. Buying guns is not the answer. Terrorism is definitely not the answer.  When Americans engage in terrorist acts, they are the same as the  terrorists who blew up the World Trade Center on 9/11. How is it any more acceptable or right? It isn’t.

We live in a global community. Our country has open borders and invites immigrants to come work, go to school, become citizens of our country, and other countries allow us to do the same. We have to find ways to get along or at least live in proximity without killing one another.

President Obama’s birthday had briefly lifted my spirits on Saturday. I remember him at the Charlotte rally in 2008. I shook his hand. I still think about how he looked that day: relaxed, confident, presidential, intelligent, warm, and engaging.  He looks older and tired now, but  just as I thought on that day four years ago, he is the best hope we have for this country. He’s our best chance for all of us to recognize who makes up this country we call America – we are diverse, and that is our strength. We need to let him do his job. I wish people didn’t hate him.  I can understand if they don’t agree with his policies, but it is so much more. It’s sad and frightening. I wish Marilyn Monroe could have been there at his birthday celebration to sing Happy Birthday, Mr. President as she did for President Kennedy. Maybe she would have made him smile.

Marilyn Monroe makes me smile, too. She was fearless about her femininity in a masculine world, yet she was wracked by insecurity and neediness. I wish we could have experienced her wit, intelligence, and beauty a little longer. She let the world see into her soul, as painful as it was for her. She showed us her humanity in all its imperfection and in all its beauty. I see it when I look at photographs of her, her eyes showing both vulnerability and hope that the world would accept her just as she was. I was five when she passed away, but her movies still make me laugh and cry.

Maybe in this world, where people think guns and arson are the solution, hatred is spewed in venomous tirades, and videos must be made that teach us how to react in a mass shooting; we have to cling to our humanity and the small things that make us happy, like spending time with family and friends, watching old movies, or celebrating our best athletes at the Olympics. We have to hold on to our own vulnerability and recognize everyone else’s. We have to acknowledge the worst in us so we deserve to experience the best in all of us.